What is the deal with delivery guys?

Why do they promise that they’ll deliver your new washing machine at a particular time, when they obviously have no intention of doing so? You si t there waiting, waiting, waiting, like a shag on a rock, telling yourself to be patient. You can’t pop out for even a minute. If you so much as head out into the back yard to hang up the washing you know that on your return you’ll find one of those little “while you were away' cards wedged in your front door telling you that you’ve missed the delivery and that you’ll have to wait until you die before they can deliver it again.

And then you get tired of waiting and you call them, saying, “You said you’d deliver it between 8 am and 1pm.” And they say, “Yes sir, between 8 and1 but not necessarily on the same day,”' and then they put you on hold, and while you’re on hold the delivery guy sneaks up to your door (they’re all in this together) pretends t o knock and then with all the skill and dexterity of a safe cracker inserts the dreaded card in your door jamb and pads silently back to his van, which rolls down the hill, with the ignition off, and out of your life without a sound.

And then you call the phone robot again and tell them that he was just here and you didn’t hear his knock and can’t somebody call him and get him to come back and what am I paying you people for! And then it all goesquiet while the operator writes ‘difficult customer’ on your file, because they keep files on you, you know they do, we all know they do, and you know that you’ll never ever see another delivery driver again and if you want your purchase you’re going to have to go and get it yourself from their delivery depot somewhere in Malaysia.

 This is my new washing machine. Teh first one I've ever bought by myself. I nicked back to the shop to take a picture of it, after seeing Amberley (I bumped into her after buying it and asked her to pop over and try it out). She looke damazing and although we haven't spoken in a long time we clicked. I hope it arrives soon. I hope she does come around to have a look at it. I sent her teh pic. Was that a good idea? Excited.